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Thoughts Become Actions...what are you thinking?

August 8, 2017

A part of self-defense training and being prepared for anything, is visualizing scenarios and what you would do to protect yourself in each of them.  I have worked through scenarios in my head that involve a home invasion when I’m awake and when I’m in bed.  I’ve imagined fighting from my living room, kitchen, office, bedroom.  I’ve imagined fighting on my feet, pushed against a wall, being bent over a counter, and from the floor to name a few.  I’ve imagined using improvised weapons in each room, escaping out of the windows in the living room, office, or bedroom.  I’ve worked through parking lot scenarios, restaurant, shopping, etc. 

 

But today I imagined a new scenario, not because it popped in my head to work through, but because while I was home alone and in the shower, I heard a noise.  I admit the first image that flashed in my head was every scary movie shower scene I’ve ever seen…yeah “Psycho” was top of the list.  But then my next thought was, “Really? While I’m in the shower?”  I don’t know about all of you but fighting in my birthday suit is on that list of “things I hope I neverexperience.”  So, after I accepted that might be a possibility I started accessing the situation.  I listened to make sure I was in fact alone in the bathroom, when I knew I was I stepped out and locked the door.  Then I began looking for improvised weapons in the bathroom.  Have you ever stopped to think how you could use a shampoo bottle, toothbrush, shaving cream can, hairspray as a weapon?  You should.  Have you ever thought about possibly having to fight from the shower, while you’re wet, soapy, standing on a slippery surface?  You should.  Long story short the noise was just my phone falling, so with the crisis averted I finished my shower in peace. 

 

Some of you may be wondering why you would visualize scenarios like this.  Some of you might think this is being paranoid.  No, it’s being prepared. Mental training is important. The fact is, your brain doesn’t know the difference between a real experience and one that is vividly imagined.  With that knowledge, we can take scenarios and run them through our head and vividly imagine how we would respond. In this you can feel the intensity, the fear, the adrenalin dump and work though it.  Doing exercises like this is called mental blueprinting. It causes the brain to create a “map” of responses to certain stimuli.  With this “map” in place, if you face a real threat one day, the brain kicks into gear much faster because it has already created a “blueprint” for this type of stimuli. When we do this, we always visualize winning because we don’t want a negative blueprint.

 

“Systems that rely on just physical attributes or drilling only partially develop the combat athlete. 

On game day, mind-set will be the determining factor.  The mind navigates the body.” – Coach Tony Blauer, Spear System 

 

Does this mean you never have to take a self-defense class and go through physical training drills? No. You can visualize how to build a house but if you don’t have the physical skills, knowledge, and tools to build a house you can’t build a house.  Until you hold a hammer in your hand and swing it, you don’t know its weight and length and the balance of it and how that affects technique and efficiency. You haven’t worked to develop your hand-eye coordination and technique. Until you use the hammer perched at an awkward angle, you don’t know how that affects your ability. Visualizing hitting the nail perfectly will help but you need practical application skills too. Same goes with self-defense, if you don’t have the knowledge, skills, and tools you may not respond to a real threat how you visualize yourself responding.

 

Countless times I’ve read testimony of violent encounter survivors who said that they thought they would fight to protect themselves or react in a certain way if they were ever in a situation like that, but they never actually took classes to develop the necessary skills and the situation didn’t play out the way they imagined. The skinny kid who visualizes punching the huge bully and knocking him out but had never thrown a real punch will probably throw a weak, awkward punch and still lose even though in his mind he won. You can visualize a scenario but until you “pressure test” it in realistic training, you don’t know if it will actually be effective. If you have no strength or technique then you can’t accomplish what you visualize effectively.

 

If you aren’t training body, mind, and emotions you are missing vital keys to your safety. You must train all the components involved in self-defense. Make sure you are training on all levels. Make sure your training is realistic and scenario specific and makesure you are training your mind too. Battles are won and lost in the mind. You can never train too much!

 

 

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Unconscious Bias

July 31, 2017

Unconscious biases are generally associated with social stereotypes about certain groups of people that individuals form outside their own conscious awareness that effect workplace productivity. Everyone holds unconscious beliefs. We are used to hearing about them everywhere but not self defense. 


 A Bias is a prejudice in favor of or against one thing, person, or group compared with another usually in a way that’s considered to be unfair. It's a predisposition toward something. Often it's unconscious. In self defense they are generally tied to a certain style, system or method of defending yourself. Because we are unaware of them, they are dangerous because they affect us without our even realizing it.

In today's violent society, the trend is toward getting a concealed carry so that you can protect yourselves against a violent attack. You see on social media all the time, "If they had a gun, this never would have happened." The belief/bias is that having a handgun would solve any violent encounter. It is their "go to" method of defense that is to be used in every situation... While a handgun is a great option in many violent situations, it is not always the best option. For example, if you are five feet away from an attacker who is armed with a knife and you go for your gun when he attacks you, chances are that he will stab you multiple times before you ever get your gun out. An unconscious bias toward a handgun will cost precious time as we initially think to go for our gun and then switch to going hands on.

We can be biased toward a certain fighting style or range. BJJ, Krav Maga, MMA, taekwando, boxing, concealed carry, knife fighting, wrestling and the list can go on and on. Grapplers want to grapple. Strikers want to strike. We unconsciously want to go to our perceived strengths, to what we are most comfortable with. The problem is that in combat, you are best served to fight to your opponents weakness, not your strength. (‘The height of strategy, is to attack your opponent’s strategy” -Sun Tzu ) They say, never grapple with a grappler or strike with a striker. It is much more advantageous to just look for the closest open target and get your closest weapon on it. If you have a bias, you will bypass the opportunity for what you unconsciously favor.

We can be biased toward a certain side (strong hand/weak hand or side). But what happens when the scenario doesn't favor the use of that side? What happens when you can't use that side because of injury or where you're positioned? Worse yet, what happens when using that side in the scenario makes you vulnerable to an attack or strike from the bad guy? What if your opening to strike is on your "weak" side that you don't favor and because you don't use that side it leaves you without an option to attack or defend? Your bias can leave you defenseless and that is why you can't afford to have a favored (biased) side. You have to practice  and become comfortable using both sides. 

The answer to the problem of unconscious biases is first to be aware that you have them. Once you know that you have one, work to rid yourself of it. Work on both sides so that you are as comfortable on one side as you are on the other. Train different ranges and styles so that you can use the one that is best and then train to look for the closest target and to put the closest weapon on that target quickly. If you conceal carry, develop hands on fighting skills to supplement firearms training. Remember, not everything works all the time and their is no perfect technique to always employ. 

Fear Throttles Everything

September 18, 2016

            "If I really wanted to, I could have...." How often have we heard or even said that?  The sad truth is, more often than not, we did want to, but we didn't do anything because we were too afraid. About 20 years ago the phrase "No Fear" was popular. No Fear is a fallacy because everyone experiences fear. We can stick our head in the sand and deny that we experience fear, or we can admit that we all experience fear and then learn how to manage it. Tony Blauer, founder of Blauer Tactical Systems and the SPEAR System talks about the fact that we need to "Know Fear". If we understand how it works, we can overcome it.

            Coach Blauer says "Fear throttles everything we do. From who we marry to where we live, from how much weight we lift to whether or not we defend ourselves. Managing the fear spike is the real value of our course." What this means is that fear and how we deal with fear impacts every decision we make and every action we take. If we are controlled by fear, we don't ask someone out and therefore we obviously never marry them. If we are afraid to move to a new place, we stay where we are and never experience what the new place has to offer. If we are controlled by fear, we don't ask for the raise we desire or put in for the position we want. If we are controlled by fear, we will miss out on so much in life. And yes, managing fear determines if we defend ourselves. If we are frozen with fear, our 20 years of martial arts training is worthless because you never use it!

            Coach Blauer says that "the mind navigates the body". Our mind takes our body to whatever place it goes. The fight is going on in our heads before it ever takes place in the real world. It's why a man with a flesh wound to the arm who thinks he is dying dies and another man who is shot ten times but is determined he will see his wife and children again no matter what lives, defying all odds. What goes on in our mind is more real to us than what is actually true. If we see ourselves losing a fight in our mind, we lose it in real life as well.

            There is a Cycle of Behavior™ that our minds go through in every situation and understanding it can allow us to navigate it and take control of it. Understanding that cycle will allow us to deal with our fear and get challenged instead of just being threatened. Every situation starts a mental cycle driven by things we visualize, expect, believe, etcetera. It happens in milliseconds, usually automatically unless we have learned to reroute our thoughts. This involves fear management.

            We have several acronyms for fear: False Evidence Appearing Real, False Expectations Appearing Real and Failure Expected, Action Required. All these involve things that we must deal with or they will control us. False Evidence Appearing Real could be seeing someone with a crooked nose, cauliflower ears, tattoos and a Tap Out shirt and thinking that they are a great fighter that we can't beat before they ever do anything. This puts us in fear and believing we can't possibly win a fight before it ever happens, and the reality may be that he has lost every fight he has ever been in which is why his nose is crooked and he has cauliflower ears. The truth is he is a terrible fighter and we could easily beat him but because we believe he is a great fighter who we can't beat, we will lose. If we recognize that we are assuming a negative outcome, we can begin to attack these incorrect beliefs and change what we are expecting. As we take control of our thoughts and mental pictures, we gain control of our fear and the situation.

            It could be the false expectation that our boss will say no when we ask for a raise. We go in expecting rejection and it influences how we present ourselves and our case for a raise, usually dooming us to getting our request denied. Or even worse, we don't even ask for the raise.

            So fear throttles everything in life. That's why we teach the Cycle of Behavior™ as part of our Be Your Own Bodyguard™ classes. We can deny that we have fear and allow it to limit everything in our lives or we can "Know Fear" and control it instead of it controlling us. The choice is yours.

Personal Defense – How NOT to fight

March 9, 2016

 Threat – Menace; Indication or warning of probable trouble; Give an ominous indication of; impeding       evil or mischief.

Challenge – A call or summon to engage; A call to battle; A call to fight; To summon to a contest of skill;    To take exception to; Call in question; To halt and demand identification; To disqualify.

When threatened by something or someone that is a clear menace to one’s survival, humans have a natural instinct to Fight or Flight. If the situation prevents a person from de-fusing or running away from the danger, then the choiceless choice is to fight. But is there a way to perceive the danger before you are left with the choice to fight?  Yes!

What does a gazelle do when they sniff, see, or hear a lion coming toward them?  They run of course.  When the gazelle senses danger is near it doesn’t hang around to see if it’s senses were correct. It doesn’t shew the feeling away as if it’s just being silly, and it doesn’t think that maybe that lion just wants a drink of water from the same watering hole! 

We have been given this same warning system. We call it intuition, a “gut feeling,” or a “sixth sense.”  Our natural warning system is there to let us know something is wrong, out of the ordinary, and/or danger is imminent. I would venture to say that almost every one of you would raise your hand when asked, “How many of you have ever felt that and ignored it?”  In the Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker he states, “Intuition is always right in at least two important ways; It is always in response to something. It always has your best interest at heart” 

What do you do when…

You’re running late for work and now you’re delayed even more while waiting for the elevator and when the door finally opens there is a man in there that gives you a creepy feeling? 

You’re walking to the ATM and you notice a man step out from the side of the building and start to follow you from a distance. 

You’re walking to your car and you notice someone standing near your car.

You’re on a jogging trail and something inside of you alerts you to a man sitting on the park bench up ahead. Maybe he keeps watching you, maybe he’s acting funny, maybe he’s just sitting there but you don’t have a good feeling.

Let me ask you this… What would it cost you to heed your warning system?  What would it cost you to ignore it?

One of your strongest tools in self-defense is listening to your body’s natural protective mechanism.  In a Be Your Own Bodyguard™ class we spend time talking about your body’s natural protective mechanisms and how to utilize them to equip you with the tools to protect yourself and/or those around you.  Tools such as: Awareness, Instinct, Intuition and Intelligence.  They are much like the radar defense system on a warship that alerts the crew to impending danger from other ships, submarines and warplanes when they are far off and allows the ship to move out of the danger zone before it can be attacked. The best defense is to avoid the danger completely.

In order for this defense system to be effective, it must be active which also means that it is imperative to always maintain situational awareness. We cannot have our heads down, be looking at our cellphones, be lost in thought or jamming out to music in our earbuds and hope to be aware of anything. This is all too often the case today. We discuss possible risky behaviors that put us at risk of attack so you don’t deactivate your natural defense system.

The human race of course is faced with threats and challenges all the time. However, in the case of threats to one’s physical well-being; we are living in an era where good, sound street-level self defense is now a necessary skill. It is also a skill that lends itself to many other areas of life.  For more information about Kim Maloy and the Be Your Own Bodyguard class please go to www.triunedefense.net or email Kim at k.maloy@triunedefense.net

 

 

I'm a Lover Not a Fighter

July 29, 2015

During my career as a personal trainer and now a self-defense coach there are two phrases I hear a lot.  The first one is, “Yeah, I need to do that.”  The second is, “I’m a lover, not a fighter.”

Do you know what both of those phrases mean to me?  They both mean that fear is what is keeping you from doing what you really want to do.  When I hear those statements, this is what I really hear, “I hear what you are saying but that means I have to change what I’m doing and I don’t know what that’s going to look like.  That means I have to get out of my routine (the one that is slowly killing me physically & mentally) and work hard to create a new routine.” That my friends is fear of change.

“Yeah, I really need to do that.”  We say this when we know we should do what is being suggested but we really have no intentions of doing so.  We may want to do what is being suggested but we don’t want it bad enough to fight for it. 

By fighting for it I’m talking about making small changes every day that add up to a lifestyle change down the road. 

By fighting for it, I’m talking about making a choice at breakfast today to eat egg whites and oatmeal instead of pop-tarts, donuts, cereal, or a bagel. 

By fighting for it, I’m talking about walking ½ mile today instead of sitting on the couch with a bag of chips watching Extreme Weight Loss with Chris and Heidi Powell wishing that could be you. I'll let you in on a little secret - that was me.  I used to watch Biggest Loser while sitting on the couch eating ice cream or chips wishing that were me going through that transformation.  If you don't believe me go here to read my story.

By fighting for it, I’m talking about taking a self-defense course (that everyone can learn) instead of just hearing the stories of people being attacked and hoping it never happens to you (or worse, denying it could ever happen to you.) 

By fighting for it I'm talking about skipping that iced coffee everyday and saving that $4-5 and putting that towards the training you need to help you make these healthy lifestyle changes.  Or, taking that self-defense class because you don't like to fight and have no idea how to defend yourself.

Instead of saying, “Yeah, I really need to do that.”  Let’s try saying, “Okay, how do I start?”  All of us have to start somewhere, the key is – to START.

Okay, so how many of you think of Michael Jackson when someone says, “I’m a lover, not a fighter”?  My hand is raised, I can see him now singing.  I could say a lot about that in the way he lived his life, but this is not a blog about Micheal Jackson. I’ve heard this phrase used when I’m asking someone to fight through a tough workout.  Now that I teach self-defense I hear that phrase a lot, especially from women.  I'm going to throw that excuse out the window and show you that you are a fighter, you just don't know it yet.
 

It's true that most of us are not pro boxers or MMA fighters who get up every day and train to fight.  They are a select people who live & breathe fighting.  Most of us aren't policemen or soldiers. Most of us don’t even like to think about fighting.  Listen, I’ve always been a peacemaker.  I don’t like to fight and will avoid conflict whenever possible.  Being a peacemaker is not a bad thing, even God says blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God.  However, always being a peacemaker can cause you to avoid conflict to the point of losing your life. Peacemakers can easily be consumed by fear and inaction.  Fear will keep you from sending that email or making that phone call asking for help to lose the weight you’ve been wanting, and know you need, to lose.  Fear will keep you from pushing past that threshold of pain and exhaustion to finish that workout.  Fear will keep you from learning how to defend yourself, which says to the bad guy, "I'm an easy target, I won't fight you."  Fear will keep you from defending yourself.

The truth is that you can fight and you do have it in you.  Do you know why I KNOW that you CAN fight? 

 

Because of the man or woman who proudly states, “I am a cancer survivor.”  Being a survivor means there was a fight they won.

 

 

The man or woman who FOUGHT their minds and bodies to go to the gym when it wasn’t comfortable, in fact it was incredibly HARD, but they went anyway.

 

 
 

 

Every time I see a man or woman who lost a limb protecting this country and they FIGHT through every painful day learning to not only walk again but to run marathons. 

 

 

And finally, when a woman transforms in .02 seconds from a beautiful life-giving, loving, gentle mom into a screaming, hard-core, wild, and incredibly strong banshee when you threaten her children. 

 

 

 

 

There are so many examples because we ALL have “fight” in us.  We just have to realize that right now, wherever you are in life, you have that survival instinct to fight inside of you and you ARE worth fighting for!!

Determine today to take those two phrases out of your vocabulary.  Instead of saying, “I need to do that,”  say, “I will do that.  What is my first step?”  And, instead of saying, “I’m a lover, not a fighter,”  say, “Fighting is not comfortable for me but I will learn to fight for my life and those around me.”  You will be amazed at what you CAN do if you allow yourself to try.

I would love to help you take your life back!  Contact me TODAY, right now, don’t let the excuses start playing like a broken record in your head. Send that email right now.  I made it easy for you, I’ve put three links in this tiny paragraph to contact me. I'm Looking forward to starting this journey with you.

 

Never too young to learn

June 1, 2015

Have you ever experienced losing your child even for only a few moments?  Those few moments are the worst moments in your life.  In just a few seconds your mind starts racing and throwing out all the most horrifying thoughts possible.  Your heart is beating so hard you can feel it in your throat.  You may start sweating as panic sets in while you frantically search and call his/her name.  Then all of the sudden he or she comes out from under the clothes rack giggling because he/she thinks it’s funny.  You’re too angry to think it’s funny, you say something like, “I thought you’d been taken away by a stranger.”  Or “Mommy/Daddy thought you were lost.”  Or “Don’t do that ever again, don’t you know that some people steal children and hurt them.”  To them it was just a game of hide & seek, you were just left out of the details.

We try to teach our children about “Stranger Danger,” but do they understand what we’re teaching them?  When my kids were small I always told them not to talk to strangers but they were such friendly kids they talked to anyone they ran into, my daughter especially.  To a mother that’s a double-edged sword, we want our children to be social but at the same time we want them to be safe.  Children are inherently good-hearted & trusting of most adults.  Think about the adults in most children’s lives… they have mom and dad who love them and protect them, they have grandparents who spoil them rotten, they have teachers that are kind to them, and they have aunts & uncles who love them.  Many children are surrounded by people who love & protect them so they have no understanding of someone they can’t trust.  But, even as social as my daughter was there were people she would withdraw from, perhaps there was something about them that she didn’t like or they exhibited behavior unlike anyone else in her life.  That “warning” feeling we get about certain people, places, or situations is called intuition and even small children have it, they just don’t understand completely how to act upon it.  We have to teach them.

I recently watched a social experiment video where this guy with a puppy asks random moms in the park if he can talk to their kids to see if the kids will talk to him.  All the moms told him yes feeling confident that their child wouldn’t talk to him because they talk to their kids about stranger danger all the time.  Each mom in the video is horrified to watch their children not only talk to this stranger but take his hand and walk away to “go see the other puppies.”  

At one of my recent PDR classes we set up a scenario for some of our younger students 8, 12, & 15 to see what they would do.  The scenario looks like this:  The “bad guy” (who looks like a “normal” person aside from protective padding) was in the parking lot looking for something.  Each kid was to walk to their mom’s car to get their cell phone they forgot.  The “bad guy” tells them he dropped his keys and asked if they would help him look for them.  I know these kids so I thought for sure they would say no and run back into the public building they just

walked out of, but with each scenario they all started to help him look.  I was stunned.  I won’t give away the rest of the scenario in case you take the class but let me just say their response to the scenario was definitely less desirable.  After they each took their turn with this scenario I then discussed with them some more desirable options that would have helped them avoid a dangerous situation rather than having to possibly defend themselves against an abductor/attacker.

If we talk to our kids about not talking to strangers do they truly understand what we are talking about?  Are you confident your child wouldn’t talk to a stranger in the park, or in a parking lot, or walking home from school?  Until our children, or we ourselves, encounter a situation we won’t know how they/we will act. With our class, students are given the opportunity to experience a real life scenario and see how they react and then put to the test the tools/tactics they have been taught.  If their response to the scenario was “less desirable” then we discuss the scenario, giving them opportunity to think about more desirable options, and/or we help them with some more desirable options.  They are then given the opportunity to go through the scenario again using some of the more desirable options.  This builds in them awareness of their surroundings, listening to their intuition, recognizing dangerous behaviors, and the confidence to know how to act.

Its summer and kids have a lot more free time and a lot more chances of running into a dangerous situation.  Seniors going off to college?  Do they know how to recognize dangerous behaviors, avoiding dating violence, avoiding rape, avoiding violent attack, and ultimately how to protect themselves? Email me, k.maloy@triunedefense.net, for more information on anti-abduction classes, college-bound senior classes, and other Personal Defense Readiness Fundamentals™ classes.  Please visit our website, www.triunedefense.net, for more information about our currently scheduled classes.  

What I once loved now caused me anxiety!

May 20, 2015

What I once loved now caused me anxiety.

Since my lung surgery in 2009 (left upper lobectomy) hills have been my nemesis while cycling.  Since the surgery I haven’t been able to climb to the top of a large, steep hill without stopping.  To make matters worse, I’ve actually fallen over on several attempts because I hit the “brick wall” and couldn’t unclip my shoe fast enough. The worst one was when I fell over and the momentum carried me down into a rocky ditch.

Over time & several falls later I built up a fear of hills.  I started believing what the surgeon said, “You won’t be able to ride like you used to.”  I started to say things in my head like, “I won’t make it up that hill so why try,” leaving me waiting at the bottom for my husband to ride it and come back down.  I wouldn’t go on group rides because they all involve hills and I didn’t want to make people wait while I started & stopped again and again to get to the top (or even worse, would have to walk the bike to the top.) I quit doing hill repeats on the indoor trainer because it hurts and “why bother it’s not going to make a difference.”  I had given in to my fear and was letting it control me…until yesterday!

Yesterday was a perfect cycling weather day and I had time for a ride but I found myself making excuses not to go.  Fear was reminding me of the hill at the turn-around point on one of our regular rides.  Fear was also trying to cause me to fear riding alone on those beautiful country roads we ride.  Then indignation rose up in me and I said to myself, “How can I let fear grip me like this and then turn around and teach a PDR class tonight asking my students to overcome their fear?”  So I put on my bike clothes, filled my water bottles, turned on my Strava and took off.  On the way to the turn-around point and the big hill, I started using what Coach Blauer taught us…the Cycle of Behavior™. 

As I was riding I started going through the cycle of behavior™…what is my scenario?  It’s riding up the steep hill.  What was my motivation?  It was not good based on my expectation of what will happen, which is based on how I visualize my attempt (I saw myself falling over and then fear took it even further…what if I fall over while a car is approaching, I’ll get run over.), so my belief at that point was that I couldn’t make it up the hill without falling over (which hurts) and possibly getting run over.  My neuro-association to that was that every hill would bring me pain.  There were no fear management skills in use before this ride. I would just get threatened and enter the fear loop causing me to turn around at the bottom of the hill.

But yesterday…!!  As I played all of that out in my head I got to the fear management part and asked myself, “What do I lose by not overcoming this fear?”  What I lose is…

  1. The ability to go on a lot of beautiful yet challenging rides since we are surrounded by hills.
  2. I lose the feeling of accomplishment I once felt after tackling and getting to the top of a climb.
  3. If I allow fear to control me in this area of my life, where else will I give it access?
  4. How can I teach others to overcome fear if I’m allowing it to wreak havoc in mine?
  5. And finally, if I’m afraid of a hill, an inanimate object that is larger than me that can cause me pain, will I translate that to an attacker that is bigger than me that could cause me pain?  My answer to myself on that one was, “yes, that could cause me to freeze in an attack and I can’t afford for that to happen.” 

The last point, especially, caused indignation to arise in me to kick fear in its teeth and get challenged!  So I determined I had a lot more to lose than the fear I had for this hill.  When I got to the bottom of that hill I said, “You will do this!” and I went after it. I visualized myself succeeding.

Did I make it to the top?  No, because anaerobically I’m not in shape to get to the top of a mile climb at a 10% incline.  Why?  Because I quit training for it…because I have limited respiratory resources I HAVE to train (remember earlier in the story I mentioned that I had quit doing hill repeats on the indoor bike).  BUT I made it further than my last attempt and I didn’t fall over!  The rest of my ride felt GREAT!  It felt like it used to!  I enjoyed the freedom of being on a bike on an absolutely gorgeous day, seeing plenty of wildlife, even almost having a head-on collision with a very large turkey (hunters would have been envious of my “catch”), and cycling with ease (anxiety free) and having an attack mentality on every rolling hill I faced on the way home.

I got out of the fear loop, I got challenged, I made a new goal, I came up with a plan to climb that hill, I made a decision to go for it, I stayed in the present (not thinking about past failures or future “what-ifs”) and I took action!

The training we received from Blauer Tactical Sytems and that we now extend to our students transcends self defense, reaching into all aspects of life.  I am eternally grateful for this training and for the opportunity to pass it on to others!!

Who’s up for a bike ride!!

 

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear (apprehension, dread, terror, fright, timidity), but of power (strength, authority, control), and of love, and of a sound mind (not affected by irrational, unfounded, and absurd thoughts.)” 2 Timothy 1:7

 

Where are your thoughts leading you?

April 18, 2015

I got this email newsletter from Brian Willis from Winning Mind Training, and it lines up with what we teach in  the PDR sessions and the cycle of behavior™. It's worth a read and further discussion.

"Here is a short but powerful blog message from Seth Godin:

"Anxiety is nothing...

but repeatedly re-experiencing failure in advance. What a waste."

Two lines. That was the entire blog post but what a great message. 
I often talk about anxiety during my presentations on The Mind as
your subconscious mind imaging the worst possible outcome for an
event.

They are your thoughts; your images.

Control your thoughts.

Imagine a better outcome. Imagine success.

Take care and always remember What's Important Now?"

- Brian Willis

Too often we are defeated before we ever begin to fight, because we expect a negative outcome. Our first opponent is ourselves. Dan Millman says, "If you face just one opponent and doubt yourself, you are already outnumbered."

Anxiety results from fear (FEAR - false evidence appearing real or false expectations appearing real) and can cripple us. Too often we give an opponent skills which they have yet to demonstrate and/or fail to possess.

Coach Blauer teaches The Cycle of Behavior™. Everything begins with the scenario/situation we are facing. In situations, our motivation to fight/act comes from our expectations (if we expect to win, we have high motivation and visa versa). Our expectations come from what we visualize happening in our mind. What we visualize is affected by neuro-associations and beliefs we hold. We then come to the moment when we are either challenged by the situation or threatened. If we feel threatened, we will get stuck in the fear loop. If instead we get challenged, we escape the loop and can take action as we determine a goal and form a plan. All of this happens in milliseconds, but we can still control it.

As Brian Willis says above, control your thoughts and take decisive action! Break the cycle of fear. This applies to all areas/situations in life, not just fights. Come train with us and take control of your life!

"Talk to your kids about the 'what-ifs"

March 24, 2015

Just last night, 3.23.15, there was an attempted abduction of a 9 year old from a sports complex in Northern, KY around 5 pm.  See story here.

This is a "good" neighborhood, at a busy sports complex when a lot of parents were picking up their kids, and someone walked right in and tried to drag a young girl from inside the building.  Thankfully the girl struggled away from the woman and is fine.  The club owner is urging the parents to talk to their kids about the "what-ifs" that could happen and what they should do. 

What would have happened if that were a man trying to abduct that girl and he was too strong for her to pull away? 

Does your child know what to do in a situation like that?  

Is this something your family has talked about? 

The time to train and prepare is now...be ready for the what-ifs...

We would like to thank Blauer Tactical Systems  for use of images and videos throughout the site.

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